Today I felt it again, the uncertainty of life.
Sometimes what we are used to, and have become comfortable and familiar with begins to change.
People come and go. And there’s nothing stable. Everything is moving on, and you can’t do anything about it.
When this happens I know that I get uncomfortable, scared, and nervous.
Life moves on and I am the one wondering when will I feel safe again. When will I feel stable again. Or when will the changing stop.
For a long time, I always had some kind of stability with my ex-partner, and despite changing locations and homes, we were always constantly together. And it was the thing that remained consistent in my life, until it wasn’t. Now, I don’t know what I have that’s constant.
I’m just alone. Me. No one else.
People may come, but they only come for a short period, then they grow, get married, find new friends, find new jobs, and eventually move on. And then I find myself, alone again. Changed. No longer stable.
Not sure what I am trying to say in this post, but I guess a part of me is wondering, why do I feel scared? Why can’t I get used to it? Why haven’t I realized each time someone enters my life, and I want them to stay, that it most likely they won’t be there the next I turn around?
Hopefully it will be better, and I’ll move on from this difficult feeling at least for a brief but good amount of time. And when the next moment comes when I feel this uncertainty and anxiousness again, I will reflect back and know that I can survive and still enjoy the good moments of life, even if it doesn’t stay forever.
